Five

its been a week since i've been home. i say, life's here is actually better because of the food. heeee. western or fast food there is cheaper than chinese food. so yeah. when i came back, i whacked my mom's food and the regular hawker's food (that i find it jelak before i went over to sydney). they somehow tasted delicious!

so, five things about sydney that i missed. 

1. sydney tower. 

2. featherdale park (interacting with the animals was fun!)

3. harbour bridge and opera house (i use the harbour bridge daily by bus, but to see it from far, it stands in awe. that feeling when you're there.)

4. darling harbour! (submarines and war ship were on display in the morning.)

5. events management classmates. (i somehow missed them quite a bit. oh noesss!)

Updates!

Hello wonderful butterflies!

Its been long since i've last updated. Life's pretty mundane for me now. Havent been holding my pen to write for more than a month now. Whenever i step into the college premise, it seems like i'm seeing children. No offense. Heh.

But life for me now has been pretty much the same. Staring at the four walls. Applying jobs. Watching youtube. Browsing through facebook, instagram. I need the damn money and quit this lazy life. I even browsed through my photos and i saw a pic that i needed to edit. And there it is. A simple one for you, my family.

Just cant wait for next month. I'll be less lazy. Heh.

Inhale

Two weeks of torture. Day and night living in the class facing the screen. So unglamour with the specs and bare face.

If apply eyeliner, the eyeliner will stick on the case study. I only went out with this face to church now. Sadddd.

Facing the screen with movies and facebook is fine with me but ebook and word doc. Worst of all, 12 - 13 hours in the lab. Aiyo!

These few weeks, i told myself many times like im going to die. "I think i'm dying." With all the workload, how could you be so happy?? Hard work better pay off! Days with redbull, fast food, BASKIN ROBBINS!, row six.. You name it, we both have ate it. Just returned from starbucks after a looong day there. My hard work from the intensed gym + badminton combo yesterday is quite good with all the aches and pains now. Persevere!!

But despite these semester of havoc, cherene taught me a lot! Tips and tricks. Aigh bodohnya aku. Nak graduate baru dapat tahu shortcuts.

Still in the midst of work even though one paper is off. That paper damn sucks. Sheesh.

But well, deepavali's tomorrow! Time to put on the punjabi and get on the dhoom!!

I need to chant/remind/tell myself "ONE MORE MONTH ONE MORE MONTH. YOU CAN MAKE IT."

ps: dig these - new heights and travis garland!

Of Conference, Sisters and Fun

october's coming to an end and the beginning of my FINAL and LAST important subject today, i can say, i blasted my october!! it was great with bob fitts and sidney mohede in the house. 3 days. day and night. but i just went for sidney's night but all 3 days' morning session.

during the tea break in the morning, we spend time doing absolutely nothing, collecting my bingo chips on ipad app, seeing true worshippers and bob fitts' albums and bought favor, seeing people (being kepo).

i heard that bob fitts' night session wasnt that packed like sidney's. we had to stand at the backkkkk to line up. nevertheless, my seating was great with my cousin.

we queued like this for about 1 hour! it was massive! about 2k plus of people. FULL HOUSE. it was quite warm with the whole congregation jumping and dancing and moving around. my feet were aching. but i took out my shoes and enjoyed the whole session through and through.

and the concert started a few minutes after. wheee. the knowing you conference was the bomb. never before a 2 hour concert with sidney mohede felt like 2 hour. instead, it was like 30 mins and we asked for more! haha but he wanted ramly burger and to go home so badly. after the gangnam style in the middle of praise, it was fun! he sang most of the songs from the favor album. im so blessed in this conference.

but i did not attend bob fitts' night session. hehe. i felt sick like crazy because i ate late dinner. worst night i've ever had. i think so far, in 10 times, 8 times my system has broke down when im in kl. only kl but not singapore. ish. but probably was too caught up in shopping la.

*smirk*

well, overall, i had a great october!

October Excite!

Just done with Knowing You conference with Sidney Mohede and Bob Fitts in DUMC for 3 days straight. Was really blessed and restored through and through.

I just randomly enter a simple password which i didnt think it'll get me through the wifi but i did! *iamagenius* bus is super late! Hence, no badminton sunday today. *yawns* Guess i have to stay here alone for another hour or so. :(

Will blog more tonight. See u babies!!

Fighting Sleep?

Damn it. Is it the old age syndrome or what im having these past few weeks? I've always been waking up in the middle of the night, go to the loo and back to bed! Most incredible consequence is, feeling more tired than ever in the day.

And more concealers in the day too as if in going for war. War with myself. Cant sleep early at night but waking up in the wee hours of the morning and sleeping back? Oh dear.

Speaking of old age, my back sores if i sit too long!! Damn nenek ever. And im just like what. 21! Well, this sucks when i reach my 20s. But im gonna learn to love myself even more!

I have to.

Your Love

just close your eyes and listen to this. perfect for my friday afternoon. makes me feel so thankful that the lord accepts us as we are. he's healing my heart. one heartbeat at a time.

his love is always so much better than life.

can't wait to dance for him this november (if i am able to). 

My Asian Eyes

This picture got me attention in church! Friends teased me of the chinese eyes i have. Damn eyes!! "One line only!" Haha well, im proud of what i have. :D One did an impersonation of my eyes while walking. Awesome friends that made me laugh la. Another was pretending to search for my eyes.

Well, looking at the positive side, life can be good!

I guess i have to take pictures like this then. Soooo unnatural and scary!

Imagine how would my convo pic be. Hahaha the chansellor will get a heart attack and might die on the spot. What more, walking with wide eyes open.

Hello, October

And i'm left with 2 more months of dealing with books, pens, papers etc.

I'll make all this shit im going through from shitty to awesome! In fact, it makes me happy to know the result though. (Just like my hair :P) What you've put so much effort in, you just cannot wait for the results. Yes, we shall make it to december!

But there's one thing that i cannot do. Remembering names. Aiyo. They can remember my name but i cant even remember theirs. D: sufferrrr. How to enter into the working world? *punches self*

But hard times for me are making me to be stronger. What doesnt kill you really makes you stronger.

I'm coming to the light. Wait for meeee!

Oh Happy Day

Whole morning spent with my dear friend in old town eating, drinking, typing, laughing and talking felt so good! In fact, we killed 2 birds with one stone. Assignment and project done!

Who would've thought huh? A burden lifted till next week!

Anyway, if you people havent watch Always You by yomyomf in youtube, you should! I shed some tears while watching the series. Waiting for motherlover!! Fun fun!

September is ending. Quickly come, december! Program evaluation is already done! Yipeeeee!

On My Way

to greatness!

going to bring my assignments to an end in order to welcome dr jana's! i can tell her by then, "bring it on, baby!" i know we can mess with dr. :p

headphones up. assignments facing me. christian music are onnnn. speed typing. what a joy to do assignment.

now im taking a break.

just wanting to share something that motivated me so much. this was written by a 90 year old.
                                                          
1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short not to enjoy it.
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.
5. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for things that matter.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye… But don’t worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful.  Clutter weighs you down in many ways.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to be happy.  But it’s all up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, ‘In five years, will this matter?’
27. Always choose Life.
28. Forgive but don’t forget.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give Time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’dgrab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you think you need.
42. The best is yet to come…
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

                                                          

when i've finished reading, i felt sooo comforted and relieved. my life is not fair but it's still good. i thank god for that. i thank god for the good and bad things that have happened to me. ahhh! and im eccentric! i LOVE purple and i WEAR purple! :D all the 45 points are meaningful. 

speaking of meaningful, i'll have a great time exploring the bible soon! passion podcast are waiting for me. greatness is on the way. must remember jubilee jubilee. don't keep things that are not yours to hold. instead, give it to God and let Him handle. im learning. yesterday's sermon striked me already. x.x 

exciting things will happen in october for me! 

Functional shopping.

Weekend shopping. Most greatest shop i've ever done - find organizers! All thanks to pinterest. Why didnt I thought of it long ago??? But now, i could wake up to my babies and just smile at them.

So what i've got are just ice cube trays and s-hooks. Effortless and easy, just do the transfer!

Have a great Sunday! *runs to church!*

Ps. Breaking hearts doesnt make you a man. Keeping one, knowing that its fragile DOES make you a man.

Sit Staring

whole day, alone at home, i've been spending my time with this marketing plan. its so dreadfullllll. D: what more, international management assignment. dear dr bcs, if you ever stumble upon this, can i just write, "i have never thought of making my business go international. ever. no modal." hahaha i will die. he will make my graduation to not happen for me!

and best of all, im banee, girl version of bane. my voice! its so struck down to the ground. it has to try to swim up and that's what we call, greatness. emotionally, physically and mentally. i guess it's life for me. it can be unfair. it can be fair. depending on how we just look at life.

(writing this is much better than marketing planning!!)

however, on the other hand, i've been on pinterest!

its so addictive and useful! this is my 'recess' from my marketing planning assignment. :D guilty but happy! seeing cute things and ideas lifts up my mood from getting all down and sick.

ps. paloma faith is my current music favourite! :D
pps. i think i've made my parents tired from listening to pink's blow me. oops.

First of First Monday

it was good and refreshing. made me look back upon decisions that i've made and am going to make in life. never before have i thought if i am really true to myself about the decisions that i'm making and is it the story that i wanna tell others without skipping or hiding?

i thank god for new companies in my life. new friends. i also thank my best friends for being there for me when i'm at the rock bottom/in the clouds in life. i thank god for my family too. these are the people who i am so grateful for in life. im not seeking for someone to jump into a new path together with me but its their love and care for me that matters most. i thank god for giving me friends who teach me lessons in life too. if not for them, i wouldn't be learning from mistakes.

psalm 34:18 - "for the lord is near the brokenhearted; he delivers those who are discouraged."

thank you, lord.

cannot wait for another first monday for part 3.

When Life Gives You Lemon

you make lemonade and drink it then, put a smile on your face.

it was all for a purpose. taste the lemon and learn to overcome the bitter.

Take a Breather

all i could say now is it was as though i was dreaming in reality. i thought i was ready for it to accept it with open arms with full of relief but then it is not. it didnt work that way. instead, i was left alone dreaming about it. it was as though it was just yesterday that we put our arms on each other, having the time of our lives.

but now its like this. damn. it was hard for me to wake up to reality this morning. i couldnt get the hang of being alone again. it felt that i was really missing something. this whole thing was something that i wanted when i was on the blow but it is not what i want when i am sober. it was so close yet so far. grrrr.

but all i could do is just to change for my future. i cant a thing about my past. it has happened. there's nothing that i can do about it. all in all, thank god that it happened. praise him for this.

it takes time to heal but then we'll see about it. its really hard to consume but thanks for parents and friends who are here for me. things will not be the same again. i will not be the same again. i will change for the better.

my world for the week? be a better person. be the better daughter. be the better friend.

thanks for the lesson. :)

In a Room!

my birthday celebration with a friend has been taken to a new level. no cakes. just spending time eating together and yacking away is the whole new level this time. 

and 40 mins in the fitting room doing all sorts of poses until this one promoter came knocking on our door. ooopsies.

this is one memorable day for me. and thanks to those who wished me on facebook/text. heee appreciate it! thanks for being there for me, my family. thanks for being able to accept who i am today, for better or for my worst condition. appreciate it too!

sorry for being lost in action here. the mood to write has lost due to moodless days. oops. this time is one lazy semester break. ugh.

Drown in the Yellow Sea.

my semester break has started and i've been rotting at home for a week now. it sucks but yeah. 

but today i am a part of the malaysian history! attending the bersih 3.0 in melaka was great. we shouted our lungs out for clean election. hidup hidup. hidup bersih. bersih bersih. we sang negaraku! never before it felt so meaningful to me. 

we gathered at dataran pahlawan. the heat was way over the limit! damn hot but we're power. :D

it was just around 1 plus when people started to gather around the field to demand for bersih. the crowd was humongous! we were there waiting to sit on the field at around 1.30 from the above picture. we count down some more. "ada 4 minit lagi!"

and while waiting, the crowd grew bigger and stronger. suddenly, i felt so proud as a malaysian to be a part of this. *happyheart!*

during and after the event, we were under the scorching hot sun. little did i know, i got sun burn even though i applied sunscreen prior to this bersih! grrr but its ok. one has to sacrifice something for our own future and future generations.

i make malaysia proud and im a proud malaysian.

ps. suffering in sunburn aint a happy thing. it hurts. D:

You and I Collide

well, i must say, being in an accident can be very traumatic. more so, if you're going through it alone. imagine you're driving alone, in your own right lane. then suddenly this BIG, GIGANTIC lorry came your way. you cant run but to brake or turn left into the drain. no thought of changing to a lower gear came in to my head. none of it. so i tried braking while closing my eyes. calling on God.

BAM. eyes opened and the first thing i saw was the diesel tank leaking on my right. freaky enough, i panicked like never before. searched all over for my phone to call my dad. men from the nearby constructing housing area came to my car. freakyyyyy. i began to shiver.

however, those men helped me to get out from the car even though they were communicating to me in a different language.

but i must thank God again for being with me throughout the accident. most of passerby thought that i could've been injured. some of them did not expect that i was the driver, standing there alone in the midst of men.

shivering, scared and unable to breathe, i called on my dad. the minute i heard his voice, tears rushed down my eyes. it was my first accident of vehicle-to-vehicle. while waiting for him to come, i depended on my biwlz to comfort me. but the line was pretty bad as well. @@

my dad came and he was there for me. he solved everything for me. he went to the police station for me. then my boy came. fetched me home. mom fed me first.

from then on, phone calls started to over flow. notifications and inboxes in fb began to grow. at that point, i realize that people do care for me and who weren't.

the car will be ready in three weeks. brand new. new materials will be used. no charge upon my dad. the lorry driver will be paying for it all.

until today, i thank God for where i am after the accident.

At the End of the Road

felt so contented suddenly at the end of my sem break. ahhh. wrong timing betul.

so far during my sem break, i've been;

-eating

-sleeping

-spending more time in tumblr

-pesbuking

-spending time with my monkeys and bf

-CUT MY HAIR!

-spending time with little sara

-singing everywhere. hahahaha.

all of them mean a lot to me. but why towards the end of my sem break, things seem to be more exciting! damn. but its ok. looking forward to class.

welcoming back my friends and spending more time with them too! shopping, swimming, gym.. what else? classes will be off on wednesday for preparation for the graduation.

MARSELLYA SULLISTYO AND TAN MING CEH! graduates. damnnnn. i need to die. its ok. i can live. :D MORE EXCITING PHOTOS TO COME!

loving my new hair. my bf loves it too. went to cut it with my kanjah too! 3 of us have been going out these few days. hahaha. boredddd. we even went for i love hong kong!

actually we had no choice but to watch it besides happy garden i think. these were the only 2 shows available. so just go for it since it was free in aeon bandaraya.

and i have no idea why my bf is so damn talented to the extent that he lost his phone. x.x exciting phone is coming to meeeee. always temporary. :x

however, gotta get ready soon for dinner over at gumah biwlz's for domino's! his family feeds my tummy to the max. lu orang faham-fahamlah apasal badan gua naik. another session with my babe monkeys tomorrow who never fails to brighten my day more. ANOTHER EXCITING ALBUM COMING UP! ;)

ps. digging on adele's rolling in the deep!